Sex and the Single AlienOne of the very first accounts of alien abduction was that of a young Brazilian farmer, at first known simply as ‘AVB’, later identified as Antonio Villas Boas. He first wrote of his experiences to a Brazilian journalist, Joao Martins and his friend Dr Olavo T Fontes.
The latter two decided to keep the case on ice, considering it too wild to publish. They also feared that if the case became there would be a rash of copycat cases; eventually the whole story was published in The Humanoids (Mysteries of Time & Space) It started innocuously enough, with AVB and his brother seeing lights hovering above his house and field. Then, on October 15th 1957, while AVB was out alone ploughing the field at 1AM, he was taken away... Spaceship was an elongated round shape with rim... purple lights... helmeted aliens... making sounds like dogs barking... blah, blah, blah... let’s just skip to where it actually gets interesting: The Aliens stripped him naked and while he was still shivering rubbed a wet sponge all over his body. ‘The liquid was clear as water,’ he said, ‘but quite thick and without smell. I thought it was some sort of oil, but was wrong, for my skin did not become greasy or oily.’ After his clean up, AVB was led into a room with a red inscription above the door - absolutely no connotations with that colour I can think of. A being approached him with a type of chalice from which dangled two flexible tubes. One with a capped end was attached to his chin while the other was pumped up and down by the alien being, AVB watching in alarm as it filled with what he believed was his own blood. He was then left alone, crouching in horror. He then noticed a strange odour and started to feel sick. He saw that there was grey smoke coming from some tubes below the ceiling and ran to a corner of the room and vomited, after which he felt less afraid. And now finally this is where we get to the really good part: He heard the door open again and there stood a creature ‘just like a woman’. As she walked toward him, AVB, gaping, realised that she was naked too. She was, according to AVB, more beautiful than anyone he had ever seen. Indeed he provides a very long detailed description of her: She had very fair, almost white, hair parted in the centre and reaching down her neck with ends curling inwards. She had large, blue, elongated eyes which slanted outwards and a nose that was small and straight. High cheekbones, which he would later find were soft and fleshy to the touch. Wide face with a pointed chin, thin lips and a slim, lithe body; the most exquisite he had ever seen. High breasts, slander waist and large thighs. AVB specifically noted that her pubic hair was red and she had no perfume, ‘apart from the feminine odour’. Oh yeah; see where this is going, don't you? She approached and rubbed her head against his, and with his excited welling up... well, queue Barry White (even though he didn’t become famous until the 1970’s... but hey, if they can cross interstellar space, why not time?) Apparently they never kissed while making love, nor did they caress. But she did gently bite him on the chin. Although she did almost ruin everything with her grunting, ‘giving the disagreeable impression that I was with an animal’, said AVB. But he was able to put up with it until one of the helmeted Aliens finally called the woman-like creature away. When she left she pointed to her belly and then to the sky; at first AVB feared this meant they were coming back to take him away again. Dr Fontes however suggested that her meaning was ‘I am going to bear our child... there on my home planet’. AVB then speculated that all they wanted was ‘a good stallion’ to improve their stock. If that’s the case then I don’t see why they have to abduct people; I can think of plenty of human beings who would volunteer to help their species. In any case, after a tour of the ship, AVB was returned to his field and ran straight home into bed. Apparently when he awoke there was a strange white liquid covering him... um, no, actually he reported having nausea, headaches and that his eyes began to burn. Later he noticed unusual wounds that left round purplish scars.
 So there you have it; the Aliens need stallions. Except, if that was the case, why would they bother coming here? Not that I’m suggesting that Human males can’t be stallions; of course most of us are. But... Well, Arthur C Clarke said that a Human would have more chance of successfully mating with a bowl of Petunias than with an Alien, since at least the Human and the Petunias evolved on the same planet. The fact is we Humans can’t even breed with other Primates on this planet, with whom we share 98% of our DNA... the fact is, most of us wouldn’t even entertain that as a notion. The idea that a life form that evolved completely independently would come here to perform these breeding experiments just doesn’t fly. If they had somehow become sterile or impotent then their best and only real chance of solving the problem would be to examine life forms on their own world. And that’s still assuming that procreation for them is similar to us; sex. Of course, life forms on Earth procreate in a number of different ways so that is by no means certain. I’m afraid the chances of there being any compatibility between ‘them’ and us are astronomically small. If Human women just aren’t into you, then I’m afraid sitting outdoors with a thermos flask every night waiting for them just isn’t going to solve the problem. Try working on your personality.
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in 1969, so thank God that didn’t happen.