UFOs: Morons from Outer Space
 And to make things worse, the government knows all about these interstellar hoodlums, but refuses to do anything about them, even going so far as to try and keep their existence a secret from the rest of us. Just look at this transcript of a recording that my mate Dave just recently bought off a shady character in a pub for £200: NASA Scientist: Mister President... I’m sorry to disturb you at this hour in the morning, sir, but... you have got to hear this... (plays tape) Alien Voice: You... (sniggers)... you all suck! You suck more than the big sucky tentacled beasts of the sponge planet, and they really suck... you suckers... (more sniggering) (presses pause) Mr President: Incredible... and you’ve confirmed there’s no way this could have come from Earth? NASA Scientist: We’ve checked with a dozen other receivers around the world... the signal is definitely extra-terrestrial in origin. What do we do sir? Do we go public? Mr President: That’s a negative... this could be the greatest moment in human history. It could change the world in ways we’d never imagined. We must proceed with caution... I’ll be holding a meeting with the Cabinet and the Joint Chief’s right away to consider an appropriate response. But, the greatest moment in human history just ended up getting swept under the carpet and covered up.
~*~ Okay, so you may have guessed by now that I’m a little bit sceptical of UFO’s. I don’t think the people who report seeing them are liars... I have no doubt that most of them did actually see something. The question is, what did they see? UFO, as every man and his dog in the world should know by now, stands for Unidentified Flying Object; not necessarily ET related at all. Putting aside some of the other ‘far-out’ alternative explanations, such as time travel, most UFO sightings do have a somewhat mundane explanation. Weather, balloons and other aircraft, flocks of birds. Maybe in some cases the Government actually is trying to cover something up; perhaps experimental aircraft like the F-117 Nighthawk, which made its first flight in 1981, but wasn’t ‘revealed’ to the world until 1988. And of course there may well be some phenomena we don’t yet understand; science doesn’t claim to have all the answers after all. If scientists already knew everything then there’d be no more use for them; they’d be out of the job. But the difference between science and religion is that science doesn’t just try to fill the gaps in knowledge with fantasy. Sherlock Holmes said that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth... however, we’re still a long way from that with regards to Aliens and UFO’s.
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